Living with an addict

“We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.”

(John Dryden)

In what seems like a million times and again, Mrs. Elizabeth checked the clock hung on the living room. It was exactly 10:45 PM. She pushed the door to the frontage open and made a recurring pace along the corridor awaiting and searching the darkness for the man she married, her husband. It all came this high in the last 3 years after her husband got fired from office. All he does is get drunk, quarrel with everyone, about almost everything and now he blames her for losing his job. 

She and Martins, the man she had found love within close to 15 years, had lived with their 13-year-old daughter, Melisa, in a compound where neighbours enjoy neighbour’s shortcomings like a Super Story. Their courtship and early marriage had been lovely. Where she’d been weak, he had been strong. Where she’d been emotionally or spiritually down, he’d been the one to lean on. Over the years, Elizabeth noted a shift in the relationship. It all started three years after Melisa was born and another baby was not forthcoming. They prayed and they tried to keep their problems under the veil, and never again had to share their concerns about having another baby.
Subtly and then it became quite pronounced that she could almost decipher it hid in his surging sarcastic tone and temper. She thought maybe it was the stress from his new job or much more the issue of a male child. Whatever it was, she never imagined it coming from the man she married. 

From keeping late nights, the habit of drinking, angry words, defence, accusations and then the physical attacks – slap, and the day he pushed her down the stairs.
It all gets her weeping every day, every now and then. Was it her fault that she could not have another child for the man she loves; was it her fault that he had refused to understand and got sacked from work? Only God knows why this is happening to them.
When she caught full sight of the garage, she found him in the breeze, leaning forward against the old Volvo car, snoring and talking irrationally.  
“I thought you’d given up on me,” Martins said.
She couldn’t say a word at him but to hold him by the hand, tried to help him up and had him over her back, and they staggered towards the doorway.

What if everything you’ve been told about addictions were wrong?

Now, when a loved one is sick and suffering from a brain invader that has stolen his mind, taken over his self-control and threatened to wreck his whole person and his family’s happiness. What can the family do to effect a cure and get their loved one back to normal?

They hope for a quick fix. Maybe a detox and a good treatment facility will be all it takes. All too often, they end up joining the addict on the merry-go-round of denial, anger, confusion and blame.

“Life is short and we do not have too much time to
gladden the hearts of those who travel with us;
So, be swift to love and make haste to be Kind
and may the Divine Mystery that is beyond our
ability to know, but who travels with us –
Bless us and keep us in peace.”

Henri Amiel – Swiss poet/philosopher

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website with
Get started
%d bloggers like this: